water in a stick

water in a stick
survival

Monday, May 24, 2010

Bootstraps.

Oops!  My husband said that last nights blog was weird.  I think he may be right.  Oh well, it was just a mood.  A very strange mood.  Sometimes I express my moods in odd ways.  I guess that makes me odd.  Yeah.  Hmmmm.
It is Monday night, I don't fell very well.  Going to the doctor tomorrow.  Hope he can help.  Maybe my weirdness is fear.  Fear.  Cold, steel hard, shiny dark gray fear.  Edges blurry, not knowing what is going on, feeling tight in the chest.  Tears so close, throat constricted, antsy, just want to feel better.   I want it to be 3:10 tomorrow.  Actually, maybe a week from now when I am fixed.  Fixed.  Please, God, help them fix me.  I have so much I want to do, for my husband, for my children, for me.  Experiences.  But mostly I want to be around to help my family through tough stuff, scary stuff.  Right now I wish there was someone to hold my hand, to send that current of hope from their fingers to mine.
Funny thing..........If I am not here, I can't even help my loved ones with that.  Sad.  Morbid.  Gosh,  I think I'm down, Maybe just a bit.
Where did I put those boot straps?

Saturday, May 22, 2010

saturdy night online

Well, I be jes sittin 'ere with ma computa on ma lap and doin a leetle bit of research.  Yeah, I be crazy.  Afta all, it is Sataday night, an I sure ain't a out dancin.
I did partake of a beer, uhuh.  Cold........ahhhh.
It's a bit warm, bout 88 degrees I spect.  Nice though.  Breeze keeps the bugs away.
Soon, it gonna be time to go to bed.  Not much diffrent then sittin here, cept I gets to shut ma ole eyes.  Yep.  Ma sweet lovin husband will be joining me.  He tired too.  Work hard, jes like me.
Life is good, y'all.  Day or night.  Jes bein live.  Make sure you preciate it.  Don't las too long though.
Member your Mama in your prayers tonight, 'thout her, you wouldn een be live.
Well........night all.  Mebe we see ya in  the marnin.  Mebe. If we's lucky.
Sing me a song, Lord, to hep me get to sleep.  A lullabye.  A sweet, soft lullabye that will send all ma fears away and let me float right on a cloud inta dream land.  Yeah........mmmm.....mmmmmm  thas it.  Eyelashes feel so soft on ma cheeks.  Whas that?  I caint quite hear ya.  Doan tell me ya ned sumpin now.  Iz driftin  way.  Hafta wait til marnin.  Mmmmm.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Pietro and Valencia, Part eight

    When Valencia opened her eyes the next morning she was alone in the bed in the little house.  She walked outside to find Estrella and Pietro deep in conversation.  They did not even hear her approach.
     "Pietro, what is going on, what are you two planning?  I was afraid."
       Pietro turned and put his strong young arms around Valencia.  "You are right to be afraid, my love, but Estrella has a plan.  No matter what happens, you and I will face it together.  Come, we will go back inside and talk about this plan."
     They returned to the house and Estrella began to tell them of her plan.  They would take her jeep and go through the mountains where there were no roads to follow.  She knew the mountains and knew the way to go where they would find water, and knew where they would have to be very careful.  She would draw them a map.  Eventually, they would end up in a little town called Talico.  She had a friend there that would help them get further away from the coyote's evil justice.   Estrella would hide their truck, so there would be no trace of them ever being here.
     She explained what they would need and how long it would take them.  She cautioned that they could not hurry, it would be too dangerous to have an accident.  Both Pietro and Valencia cringed at the thought of being in the mountains with one or both of them hurt.....or worse.  Only the fact that they had no other choice kept them focused.
     Estrella worked on the jeep, making sure it was in as good a condition as possible.  Pietro and Valencia put together food and suppies for the trip.  No one talked very much.  The tension made lines around their eyes and mouths, grim expressions on their faces.  Each had fears of their own.
     By evening time, Estrella decided they were a ready as possible.  Tomorrow they would leave.  None of them slept well.
     The Coyote wasn't sleeping either.  He raged on and on about Peitro and others who had burnt him, at least in his opinion.  His anger grew as he sat in the bar and drank cheap tequilla.  Others in the little bar stayed away from the man.  He smelled of alchohol, sweat, dirt, and a kind of raw putrid odor that came from his odiferous farts.  He was planning revenge.  This stupid young man would be an example to everyone, a warning of what would happen when the Coyote was crossed.  Yes, Pietro would be punished in ways that would put fear in others, but first, he had to find the young couple.
     The tequilla bottle emptied, the Coyote passed out, his head falling in a loud thump as it hit the table.  His last thought was about Valencia's family.  He could hurt them.  They would tell whatever they knew, he had ways.  A lopsided, evil grin made his face into a gruesome, ugly mask of hate.
  

for better or worse

I love my husband.  He loves me.  We are afraid that someday some accident or illness will part us forever. This last week I spent in the hospital and I actually was fearful of dieing.  My hubby was afraid too.
     I am improving, too slowly, but I will get there.  As a result, we booked another cruise, this one to the South Pacific.  Don't wait, my Mom said before she died.  So we are not.
      Fear rules the world.  Guilt kills.  Love does not conquer all, but it makes life's horrors bearable.
      I am not going to put off so much stuff anymore.
      I love my life.  I am lucky, so, so, lucky.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Gone...gone..gone

It is Monday, May third.  My brother, Fred, and his wife Judy, left today to visit other family members.  We had a great, no, very great visit and now I feel small and sad.
Fred and Judy live, at the present, on their 44 foot sailboat WINGS in Thailand.  I don't get to see them very often, maybe every 4 or 5 years.
Soon, in the next year, they will be heading west across a BIG ocean.  I hate that.  I really, really hate it.  I can do nothing but pray they make it safely to their destination, the Mediterranean.  I hope to go visit them there.
Meanwhile, I will continue to grieve over their absence, and pray for......their lives to continue on for a long, long time.
I am sure I will feel better tomorrow.  I wish it was here now.  Oh well.....it is only a day away.