tears

Thursday the 29th of July, I sit in my 21 foot van working on the computer.  Inside my head I am whining because where we are parked is not as convenient as we have had.  It's not bad, no, we are staying with a very good friend, but the little things, like having a place to put my sewing machine, a washer and dryer, a real toilet and shower to use anytime we choose, I miss these things.  I am a whiner.
And yet ............. Tears gather in my eyes for others.  Those who have worked and planned and loved a way of life that is now undergoing a change.  For the better?  Probably not.  I will admit I had fear when what they were doing was dangerous, (I am a chicken ninny), and secretly hoped for the day they would stop doing things that sent my bowels quivering, but I cry for their disappointment, the dreams and plans that have, at least for now, gone awry.
We all suffer when life changes in ways we don't choose.  Some get mad, I whine.  The smart ones, the lucky ones view the change as a challenge of something new, unplanned, exciting.  I think it is hard to view the unknown, formerly unwanted as an "Oh Boy!" moment.  But.... who knows, maybe it will open a whole new world, a good world, one they will later look back on with joy and be glad that they didn't miss it.
The clutch in my belly, the ache in my heart, the tears that make roads on my cheeks, these things are there.  They wait for those with shaking fears and lodden hearts to ease and smiles return to their faces and bodies.
I won't whine anymore today.  I am lucky.  I will send all the loving space in my heart to them, they need it right now.  I love them.  Their sadness has now become mine to bear.  I am glad.  I am lucky.